It was 11:30 am and I was halfway through my list of to-do’s. But when I saw what was next on the list, a Quicken session— I was three months behind— I hesitated. My impulse was I have to get this done! But while I like getting things done, I also want to cultivate more creativity, vibrancy and pleasure in my life. So, I decided to postpone balancing my budget, and to indulge myself with a fun project instead. I decided to learn how to fold a fitted sheet.
I know this sounds a little crazy but I’m one of those people who actually love doing laundry. The smell of the clean clothes, the heat taking them out of the dryer and folding them all feels very satisfying to me, as does the accomplishment of getting a little task done. But I am 59 years old, and I have never learned how to fold a fitted sheet. I was pretty sure there would be a lot of instructional videos on YouTube that would teach me the art of folding a fitted sheet. I was right!
I found a two-minute video that promised to teach me in four simple steps. I felt my excitement rising. It was posted by a woman about my age and I thought I could definitely learn from her. But thirty seconds in, I was floundering. She said to hold the two corners of the sheet length-wise with the right side facing me. Then she said to take the long end and fold the right corner over the left, then go down the width of the sheet and fold the third corner into the two corners already folded. What??? And damn, she really moves fast for a lady my age! I watched the video eight times, and still did not get it.
Arggggh! So, I found another video with the same simple promise. I watched it six times and I still could not do it. I tried a third video. Still baffled. So, I returned to the first one again. But I was still mystified and my frustration was building. I had thought this fun project would take thirty minutes tops and then I would have lunch. But I was too stubborn to quit.
Finally, after an hour I was actually able to do it. I wasn’t sure how I got there but I was holding in my trembling hands a pretty near perfect folded freaking fitted sheet! Exhausted and irritable, I went downstairs and had lunch. As my headache resided and my blood sugar returned to normal, I wondered, how did I manage to turn something that was supposed to be fun into such a stressful experience?
I retraced my steps. (No, I don’t mean the steps to fold a fitted sheet. I probably wouldn’t be able to replicate those!) How did I approach the task? I had an end goal in mind, that beautifully folded sheet. I assumed it would go smoothly and only take me 30 minutes and that it would be fun. I doggedly persisted, ignoring my hunger and frustration. Hmmmm. All of this sounded familiar to me. This is how I approach much of life, and it is this approach that causes me stress and gets in the way of what I am really after—creativity, vibrancy and pleasure.
After this reflection and having my lunch, I decided to approach the task that I had been avoiding, reviewing my finances on Quicken and paying bills. I made a plan, instead of focusing on the end point—getting it done—I would limit myself to 30 minutes. Whenever I encountered frustration, I would see this as part of the process and I would breath into the feeling, making room for it.
I sat down and set the timer for 30 minutes. I opened Quicken and when I tried to upload my bank accounts, the password wouldn’t work. My chest tightened and my breathing became shallow. Good, I said to myself, this is an opportunity to practice welcoming negative emotions. After ten minutes of trouble shooting, I got access to my account. When my timer went off, I had only balanced one month of the three months I was behind. I was sorely tempted to keep going, but I stuck with my plan. After I shut down my computer I patted myself on the back for approaching the task differently. I noticed feeling more relaxed.
It is my intention to break myself of the habit of prioritizing completion of every task. My life is about more than getting from point A to point B. The ultimate point B is death, where we all end up. I want to enjoy the process, whether or not I ever figure out how to fold a freaking fitted sheet again!
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