How To Super Charge Your New Year’s Resolutions

Jan 4, 2021 | Anxiety, Decisions, Goals, Overwhelm, Perfectionism, Procrastination

 

 

When it comes to new year’s resolutions, we often start out with enthusiasm and resolve, only to find it fading within a few short months. One of the reasons for this is we focus too much on the end goal, for example “lose 10 pounds”, “organize our garage”, or “run 5 miles”. When we focus so much on our end goals, we often miss out on two very important things.

The Journey

One of my goals is to scan my photos and organize them into online albums, something that my family will be able to share in the future. However, when I think about doing it, I feel overwhelmed. There are so many photos, this will take hours. When I do manage to get started, I feel impatient with the process and only satisfied if I complete an album.

When I focus on the goal of finished photo albums, I miss out on the journey of looking through the photos, enjoying them, and reflecting on the time they were taken. Without those pleasures, my enthusiasm for the project fades, and I’m running only on grim resolve.

Committing to the goal of your new resolution means committing to the journey as well. If the trip to get where you want to go sounds like a grind, perhaps there is a way to get there that inspires you as well. To help you find that inspiration, ask yourself, what are the personal values that my journey might honor?

Personal Values

In my case, there are several values that might inspire me to be more present for my journey with the photo albums. Fun, creativity, and love come to mind. And when I feel the urge to keep going “just to get it done” I might turn to other values like flexibility, self-care and patience. Practicing my personal values is what keeps me coming back again and again.

To live a life of value, we must allow our values to inform how we live. In the busyness of our lives, it’s easy to lose track of what we value, and this year is a wonderful time to remind ourselves what they are.

Here is a list of core human values. When you think of this next year, what values would you like to live by?

SELF-ACCEPTANCE   GROWTH   OPENNESS   CREATIVITY   SPIRITUALITY

FUN/PLEASURE   RESPONSIBILITY   AUTHENTICITY   COMMITMENT   RESILIENCE

ADVENTURE   HEALTH   HONESTY   SELF-EXPRESSION   COMPASSION   LOVE

 FLEXIBILITY   HUMOR   PRESENCE/MINDFULNESS   COURAGE   INDEPENDENCE

PEACE   HONOR   TRUST   SPONTANEITY   FORGIVENESS    CONNECTION    PLAY   FLOW

  1. Pick three to five that you really resonate with. Write them down.
  2. How do these values tie into your goals for 2021?

I would recommend writing your values down somewhere that you can be reminded of them. We so often lose sight of what is truly important to us.

Resolving to live by our values can motivate us to reach or goals, but more importantly, they help us appreciate the journey. It is the journey, not the destination, where most of life takes place.

Values List PDF 

 

 

 

What’s Your Procrastination Type?

May 1, 2018 | Procrastination

Everybody procrastinates. Whether we put off emptying the dishwasher, unpacking from our last vacation, starting an exercise program or writing that novel, nobody’s to-do list is ever completely done. In our busy lives, new tasks and obligations show up faster than we can check them off. Yet we usually think of procrastination as a character weakness with a one-size-fits-all solution: more will power.

Moral judgments about our behavior usually diminish our understanding of—and our compassion for —ourselves, and the case of procrastination is no exception. If our postponing tasks or commitments is a problem for us, the first step to seeing a solution is to ask ourselves, what is it about my procrastination that is working for me? The answer can provide a valuable clue to our own unconscious needs and behavior. When it comes to procrastination, we are not all the same.

To help us along, I’ve divided us into four basic types of procrastinators, each with its own kind of tasks to put off, and its own reasons for doing so. By recognizing our procrastination type, we can gain some understanding and compassion for ourselves. Only then can we begin to break the vicious cycle of failing to get things done and feeling guilty and unproductive much of the time.

The Perfectionist – Perfectionists see every task as a performance to be judged by others. Any mistake, however small, could be cause for criticism or rejection. Tasks the perfectionist isn’t 100% certain can be mastered are postponed. The perfectionist’s core fear is losing status or being kicked out of the tribe.

The Warrior – Warriors are drawn to action and love to pit them self against a problem or foe—as long as it is interesting or exciting, that is. When faced with a task that is tedious, the warrior retreats. Warriors have an uncanny ability to put boring tasks completely out of their minds; there will always be plenty of time later. The warrior’s very survival depends on moving away from tedium toward stimulation. They are convinced boredom is too much for them to handle and that they will be missing out if they aren’t completely engaged.

The Pleaser – Pleasers are more in tune to what others want of them than they are to what they want for themselves.  They will often say yes to things that people ask of them—tasks that if they checked in with themselves, they wouldn’t want to commit to. Then, since their hearts aren’t into fulfilling these commitments, they put them off.

The Rebel – To the rebel, the personal attribute that must not be compromised by any task is independence. They want to be valued for their own unique character and contributions; their core fear is being anonymous. When rebels find themselves in a position where they must follow others’ orders, they feel they will lose their identity. They will put off cooperating even when it doesn’t help them meet their own personal goals.

Fortunately, each type of procrastinator also has a unique motivation that can be leveraged into a real superpower to get their trigger tasks done. Take this Quiz to discover your type or combination of types.  Once you do, you can discover the powerful tools to help you to not only overcome your procrastination, but how to live a more engaging and fulfilling life.

*Note: While this material comes from my book “A Teen’s Guide to Getting Stuff Done,” The quiz and the material in the book is relevant to people of any age who find that procrastination may be more of a habit than they would like! 

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